The psychological causes of premature ejaculation

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The psychological causes of too rapid ejaculation include anxiety or fear :

1) Anxiety about performance

This is often the cause of premature ejaculation in a young man, who often thinks that if he cannot make a woman reach orgasm during sex with his penis in her vagina, he is sexually inadequate. This is a tremendous threat to his self-esteem. He gets so anxious about coming too soon that he loses any remaining ejaculatory control he may once have had! If he can accept that he is inexperienced in sex and that practice means he will be a better lover, the anxiety is removed and he will most likely be able to delay his ejaculation. But many men are dragged into a vicious circle of anxiety where the fear of ejaculating too soon actually makes them ejaculate too soon.

There can be additional factors, though. As one man said: "the more I try, the less l succeed." This man is simply trying too hard and this in itself is focusing his attention on the problem: he gets so anxious that again he loses any remaining self-control! If he could forget about his problem, enjoy sex with his girl and enter when she is ready, he could delay his ejaculation by a few seconds the first time, half a minute more the next, a minute the third, and so on until he has full control.

2) Other anxieties include fear of getting an STI - this can be the cause of quick ejaculation in younger men who have many sexual experiences. The answer, obviously, is to use condoms. The fear of unwanted pregnancy can also be dealt with by using reliable contraceptives. The elimination of anxiety is the all-important factor in getting off the vicious circle.

3) Another cause is anxiety about the man's partner. I think most men have experienced premature ejaculation on one or two occasions in their lives. This may start after long abstinence from sexual intercourse, when a man is so excited that all psychological control is lost and the first attempt at sexual contact brings on immediate ejaculation. If a man's partner is critical and the man is not emotionally strong enough to ignore her criticism, the next time an opportunity for sex presents itself, he will be apprehensive about ejaculating too soon, and his anxiety may well cause him to do exactly that. This second failure causes him more anxiety and starts the vicious circle.

4) The most common cause of the emotional vicious circle is anger or resentment against - or even a subconscious desire to punish - the partner. The resentment or the desire to punish may be subconscious, but it affects the sex-life of the couple dramatically.

Whatever the cause of this resentment (most often the man doesn't want to be in the relationship) a man can show his resentment or anger either by ejaculating rapidly and so preventing his partner from getting sexual satisfaction through intercourse or he can stop ejaculating at all regardless of long he swings or thrusts. This is called delayed ejaculation www.delayed ejaculation.com . (Delayed ejaculation shows anger by putting all the blame for a man's inability to ejaculate on his partner.) The too-rapid ejaculator may really be saying something like: "You're not worth making sex good for. I'm not bothered about your pleasure." He is making his partner a victim of his emotional conflict.