Stop Premature Ejaculation Now! 
"How can a man control his ejaculation?"

Question:  How can a man control his ejaculation?

I don't even look forward to having sex because I'm so self-conscious about coming so fast. In fact, I have begun to avoid dating because I'm afraid that eventually things will become intimate and "she" will expect sex...only to be disappointed. It's totally embarrassing. At this point I would gladly forgo any orgasms of my own if I could go long enough to please my partner. I can masturbate for hours without ejaculating, but only seconds during the real thing. Please, any help would be greatly appreciated.

Answers (each new paragraph is a new answer):

To control premature ejaculation I suggest a method called the "squeeze" technique, it is a method of gripping your penis during an erection so that you lose your erection, and have to start all over again. This can be done alone, to train yourself to go longer, or if you believe it is an anxiety issue, can be done with your girlfriend present with you playing with her. And if she doesn't have a problem with it, how about just going more than once? 

I agree, premature ejaculation can actually start to deter you from creating meaningful relationships-- like a snow ball effect. Loss of self-confidence has a major role in sexual performance. You need to control your premature ejaculation before you get confident - once you feel confident, you can go on for longer. Hmmm....sounds like Catch 22.

It's a common problem but there is no common solution! I doubt any of the above suggestions would control it. However, there are a few prescription solution that your doctor can provide. The most useful is taking a small dose of antidepressants. These drugs often have the side effect of delaying ejaculation sometimes to the point of being unable to finish (which frustrates users). You can just adjust the dose till you find a happy medium. This solution has been shown to work in a large number of men. Taking viagra has been successful for some men. So that is another alternative. Even if you ejaculate fast you can still get hard again in a short time and try again. An other alternative is a prescription drug called paroxetine (might be its generic name) [20mg] that works combined with viagra [50mg]. It works in 80% of cases so far. It improved most men's ejaculation times from about 30 seconds to 5 minutes.

The drug Paroxetine that you mentioned is another name for the antidepressant drug Seroxat. This is very similar to Prozac. I don't think that you should be filling yourself full of drugs with potential side-effects - and antidepressants have many - as a solution to this problem. Find the cause rather than just treating the symptoms and you will find a solution.

Premature ejaculation is the most common sexual complaint. Of course any man will go off too soon if he is excited enough. But premature ejaculation is characterized by the constant inability to hold off. No one knows why this happens. Some speculate it's hypersensitive nerves, an over-sensitive penis, or some chemical imbalance. What is clear is that it doesn't usually clear up by itself, it's hard to control, and it can become quite debilitating. I know drugs always seem like the last thing you want to deal with. But, so far as I know, there are no other viable alternatives. 

I have always been a fairly rapid ejaculator. I could last a long time with masturbation and foreplay but when it came to intercourse I had to really work to control myself. Frankly it was a real downside to intercourse. Now I think that when I was on top the muscles in my groin and butt were very tense and that caused an immediate sensation that I wanted to ejaculate. I had to fight against that feeling constantly. So I think it's some kind of muscle thing perhaps that puts pressure on your penis and/or prostate and causes a sensation of over-stimulation. I could be in my wife and not moving and still feel that pressure to ejaculate very soon. Any kind of thrusting made it very hard to wait. Being on the bottom was definitely better because that feeling wasn't as strong. 

If you can make it to insertion, you're doing better than one of my ex-b/f's. He couldn't control his ejaculation before he entered me! Have you tried Ginseng & Ginkgo? They boost stamina and some guys think they delay ejaculation. 

I had this problem when I was younger. The only way I could control it was to use a really thick condom. Give it a try, and remember, when you feel you need to "take a break", it's the perfect time to do "other things" to satisfy your girl. You are young, don't put pressure on yourself for nothing.  

Sounds like performance anxiety is causing your premature ejaculation. Take a look at your wish to last for a real long time, and then relax that high standard of yours! I read a medical journal and the average duration before male orgasm is about 6 minutes. So stop thinking you're better off alone if you can't last two hours before orgasm. Other tips: Try a lidocaine topical ointment (like dentists use before a shot) or some other numbing ointment to help lower the intense pleasure sensations and control yourself. Better yet, talk to your partner and let her know that you will have a quick ejaculation on your first shot and your second will take a lot longer: let her decide how long she wants to play with you. Also give yourself time and offer her foreplay first. If you focus more on her pleasure than yours, it may help you as well. Lastly, no one is perfect in bed the first time and every time. I'm sure even James Bond has had a premature ejaculation now and then, i.e. don't be so afraid of failure, it means that you are human (not perfect) like the rest of us.

I still think that if you have a loving partner, you should be able to let yourself go the first time, to please yourself, and then just go for it again if you can. You'll last so much longer. And a lot of it is mental. If you think you can last long, most likely you will last longer. And throughout, don't just think about the pleasure that you will get at the point of climax, think about how it feels now, and only now, each minute of sex. 

Pills and ointments seem a bit drastic. Why not just observe a simple rule that has worked every time for me. Always make sure she comes first (by whatever means), then it won't matter how things go with you. That way you don't need to worry about premature ejaculation.

I have the same problem! My extremely premature ejaculation takes place less than one minute after I enter my partner's vagina! Masturbating to the point of ejaculation then stopping and going again a minute or two to calm down seems like a good idea - I'd rather not use ointments or pills, it would make me feel more incapable than I already feel!

I tried the squeeze technique, but it doesn't really work for me, I may last little longer but it's not long enough for my girlfriend to orgasm, when she's really into it I have to tell her to hurry up and orgasm before I do, but I want us to enjoy it longer. I'm really close to trying those pills also! In the porno movies we watch they seem to go on forever, they must be using pills?

Don't worry about how sex goes in the porno movies. Those guys are picked because they can go a long time. Also, they have probably had several orgasms that day, causing them to be slower. On top of that, they have sex for their career, so they probably aren't nearly as likely to be over-excited or nervous as you or I. Their problem is more likely getting to orgasm and having an ejaculation, premature or otherwise!

It's not surprising to see that so many responses to a question about how to control premature ejaculation  suggest the use of drugs to solve the problem. But what happens if you go off the drugs? Right back where you started... Do you really want to rely on drugs the rest of your life to enjoy sex? This route of instant gratification is not the best one in my opinion. To each his own, however. 

I had premature ejaculation most of my life. But no longer! I learned to control it and this has changed my life. The key to getting over it is retraining your mind so you don't expect to ejaculate so soon after intercourse has begun. Men get too excited when they anticipate their orgasm, which they expect to have quickly due to the sexual responses they learn when masturbating (i.e. come as quick as you can). You simply need to train your brain and penis to last longer than you are used to or you need to provide some negative reinforcements at the time you feel the urge to ejaculate.