How To Last Longer In Bed For Men

The full method which shows you how to last longer during sex is here with full details of how to control your rapid ejaculation.

The art of lasting longer in bed for men

This proven method of controlling premature ejaculation and lasting longer will give you greater control of your lovemaking ability. It's the method adopted by professional sex therapists when they treat premature ejaculation.

The best thing about it is that the ideas behind it are easy to explain and even easier to put into practice. Given that this is the only method of treatment for premature ejaculation that actually works, it's a waste of time to look to hard or too long anywhere else.

The first step is the simplest. You develop the ability to recognize when you are about to ejaculate. Now, this may seem obvious - after all, men very quickly come to know the feelings of impending ejaculation during sex: they are an unmistakable part of our sexual experience, whether that is masturbation or sexual intercourse. These feelings, which occur at the so-called moment of no return, representing the point at which ejaculation becomes a reflex response and cannot be stopped, are very sweet, very powerful, and very obvious.

However, that's precisely the point - they may be obvious, but they are often very sudden - that's why most men who don't last long in bed and find they come too quickly. If you only recognize the signs of impending ejaculation when you are seconds away from ejaculation, your best route to learning how to last longer is learning to recognize the signals of impending ejaculation earlier, so that you have time to do something about them before you begin to ejaculate.

After all, if you know you're going to come, you can stop thrusting, or stop oral sex, and literally pause all sexual stimulation until your arousal has dropped. This is not hard to do - provided you have recognized the symptoms of impending ejaculation soon enough. That way you automatically last longer....and of course that is only part of the story. What you really want is to be able to make love continuously, so that you don't have to pause during sex, so you can carry on with more or less total control over your ejaculation until you actually decide that sex has lasted long enough - and then you can let yourself release. It's the element of choice that is critical. However, the first step is to learn when you need to stop.....soon enough so that you don't ejaculate. For men, this can be challenging.

Now, the temptation to continue having sex regardless of the consequences (an early ejaculation) -  especially if you are enjoying vaginal intercourse - is very strong: whether or not you actually do learn to last longer in bed as a man by stopping sex and allowing your arousal to drop will depend on how motivated you are to become a longer lasting lover with greater staying power. Only you can decide that, but if you are sufficiently motivated to work out how to develop the staying power to thrust hard for at least a reasonable length of time in her vagina - which many women really like, especially when they are highly aroused -  then you will succeed. It isn't difficult for men to last longer in bed!

So, the process might work like this. When you enjoy intercourse, and you realize you are approaching the point of no return - when you are in fact still some distance away from it - you slow down or stop thrusting and perhaps even withdraw from your partner's vagina. Greater self-control may be called for at this point if she wishes you to continue, as she may if she is carried away in her own sexual arousal. But learning to last longer means you can't be half-hearted about this; if you continue making love, you will come, and there will be no improvement in the time for which you can last.  If you manage this step, you wait until your sexual arousal has dropped and then enter her and begin thrusting again. The full method to last longer during sex is here!

How to last longer in bed

For men, the first thing you have to do is to mentally "tune" into your body. As we described above, the first step consists of being more aware of your body and what it is doing in the approach to ejaculation, so that you have some room to exercise conscious control of your sexual responses to your partner. Find out what it is like to go through your cycle of sexual arousal and determine the point at which you can safely stop enjoying sex and still not ejaculate.

Sexual arousal in men and women alike goes through four separate phases: excitement (or arousal), the plateau stage of sexual arousal, the phase of orgasm and ejaculation, and lastly the resolution phase. In the stage of sexual arousal the most obvious change is that you get an erection. During the plateau stage of sexual arousal, you will feel very aroused, your erection will be at its hardest, and you sense your sexual excitement as being at a peak.

As your arousal continues to increase, there is a point at which your increasing arousal triggers your ejaculation. You initially sense the emission phase - the point at which semen enters the base of your penis from the seminal vesicles in preparation for ejaculation - which inevitably follows.  The feelings of orgasm begin in the contraction of the muscles of the pelvic area, the anus, the perineum, and the penis.

After you've ejaculated, the resolution phase of your sexual response cycle spreads rapidly through your body. There is a general lessening of muscular tension and your erect penis probably returns to its flaccid condition. Your breathing returns to normal and you may well lose any interest in sex for a period of time ranging from a few minutes to a few days (depending chiefly on how old you are!).

To control premature ejaculation, you need to be aware of where you are on this response cycle. In particular, you need to be aware of how sexually aroused you are. Once you are very familiar with this, it is easy to make small adjustments to your sexual activities which prevent you tipping over into a higher level of arousal where your orgasmic responses begin and you inevitably ejaculate.

For men: how you can learn to last longer during sex

Avoid any stimulants, especially drugs or alcohol. You don't keep a clear head when you are using these mind altering substances, and they certainly won't help you to last longer during sex.

Pay attention to what is going on in your whole body, rather than just in your penis and balls. Although men get much of the pleasure of sex from their genitals, there is also sexual sensation to be enjoyed in the rest of the body, and the more you focus on it, the better it will be. As you enjoy the mounting arousal which comes with foreplay, sex play, intercourse or mutual masturbation, you may notice that your body is getting more and more tense. This is one way in which you progress towards orgasm speeds up. The body releases muscular tension through orgasm and ejaculation, and the more tense you are, the more likely you are to reach orgasm, faster. Therefore, maintaining a relaxed body and mind can greatly assist in slowing your progress towards orgasm. One way to do this is not to thrust actively with your buttocks and pelvic muscles. Instead, try keeping them relaxed and swinging your hips in a loose movement backwards and forwards.

And another way to ensure that you remain comparatively relaxed is to breathe deeply and slowly. When your breathing is shallow, you will certainly find that your body is more tense and your progress toward orgasm is faster. Deep breathing dispels the tension and slows down the rate at which you move toward orgasm. In fact, if you allow your body to do what comes naturally, then you will find that your breathing slows and deepens during sex. But our natural response to this change is to resist it, simply because we like to pursue the mounting sexual pleasure, which as you may recall from above, in large part is due to the mounting tension in the muscles of our bodies......and this, as I have said, is reinforced by shallow breathing and faster breathing. You can hopefully see how staying relaxed and breathing slowly and deeply may help you to maintain more control over premature ejaculation as you enjoy sex.

Next, something that may seem obvious - and at the same time difficult to achieve. That is, learning to take as much stimulation to your penis as your partner can give you without coming until you want to do so! Impossible? Well, not really. Think how you long you last when you control the progress you make towards orgasm during masturbations sessions - you can choose, if you wish, to lengthen the time before you come (or "cum") by stopping your self-stimulation for a while as you enjoy masturbation. Why not adapt this to sex with a partner? That's the only difference: in one situation you are on your own, and in the other you are not! Admittedly, with a partner there may be more stimulation than when you are on your own (having someone else's hand wank you is more exciting than doing it yourself, after all), but in essence the process is the same. Accept "dry handed" stimulation until you know you are going to ejaculate, then stop and wait until your arousal has died down. Then have your partner recommence stimulation and keep going until you once again feel you are about to ejaculate. And so on....by a process of constant repetition several times a week over a period of a few weeks, you will rapidly develop the ability to last longer during sexual stimulation, be able to accept greater stimulation, and ultimately have more ejaculatory control.

The next stage in learning to last longer in bed is to make the stimulation feel more like penetrative sex: in other words, to use a lubricant (massage oil being a good one) to make the whole process more slippery and possibly arousing. The process is the same as above but you will probably need to adjust the point at which you stop the stimulation so that you don't ejaculate. Slow and steady stroking until you get to your point of no return (your point of ejaculatory inevitability) is the way to cope with this process. Gradually increase the stimulation, each time you find that you can cope without ejaculating unexpectedly. After all, the basis of this method is self-awareness.

Your partner can start by masturbating you to the point of no return, but it is up to you to have the self-control to tell her when to stop! Keep going at this until you feel you have made some progress in controlling your ejaculation.

It probably won't surprise you to learn that the next step of the process of learning how to last longer is to step up the stimulation by using the same system of stop-start stimulation while you enjoy oral sex. Most men find this almost as arousing as vaginal intercourse: should you happen to be a man who does not find fellatio as arousing as masturbation, say, then please adapt the process so that the different methods of stimulation you receive from your partner are gradually more exciting to you. It is the gradation which makes this an effective way to develop more ejaculation control.

Needless to say, the final stage of the process is to do something similar while you enjoy penetrative intercourse. For most men this is more exciting than just about anything else. So start slowly, and when you feel you are approaching your point of ejaculatory inevitability, but you are still some way off, reduce the stimulation you are getting. For example, thrust more slowly, more shallowly, or stop thrusting altogether. In extreme cases, withdraw. Your partner may object, because she is enjoying it, so you have to be firm here.  See if she wants to switch to fellatio for a while if this is less exciting to you. Or see if you can give her cunnilingus - anything, but don't continue the stimulation that is likely to make you ejaculate! That defeats the whole purpose.

In the photos you can see below, the woman is masturbating the man until he tells her to stop. However, she is also using the so-called squeeze technique, which means that she will squeeze his penis fairly hard when he gets to his point of ejaculatory inevitability This is very slightly painful, or uncomfortable, and the effect is not only to reduce his arousal but to cause his erection to soften slightly. It certainly reduces his arousal, and so allows him to accept more stimulation before he ejaculates. Repeated over time, it is said to have the effect of a good effect in a man's staying power. She continues to masturbate him when his arousal has dropped.

This should be an effective way of learning greater self-control but whether you wish to incorporate the squeeze technique is another matter. With determination, the method is just as effective without it.

Some more ideas which may help you to last longer.

The sexual position you use during intercourse may have a significant effect on the speed with which you ejaculate. Man on top or missionary sex will increase the level of tension in your body and certainly make you ejaculate faster. Although the position is rewarding and produces great feelings, it may help your staying power if you try sex in either the side by side orientation or the woman on top position. Both woman top and side by side sex positions offer the chance of greater ejaculatory control.

Release tension by making a lot of noise during sex.  You may be surprised to find that making a lot of noise during sex can release tension and so prolong your progress to wards orgasm - unless, of course, you happen to find sexy talk even more arousing.....but the noise we refer to here is more about groans, moans and sighs, rather than words such as "Oh yes, fuck me, harder, harder, harder!"

Don't blame yourself when things go wrong and you ejaculate too soon This will happen from time to time as you learn ejaculatory control, and it doesn't matter. What you want to achieve is steady forward progress.

Penis desensitizing creams maybe helpful It's hard to know hw they will affect you until you have tried them. But they are worth trying; if they don't work for you, abandon them and try something else. Tips for using them: put hem on half an hour before sex, then wash off the cream before you have intercourse.

Make sure you satisfy your partner By focusing on your partner, rather than yourself, you may find that you develop greater staying power. Certainly, an obsessive self-monitoring can lead to faster ejaculations, if you create more anxiety by constantly checking to see how aroused you are getting. Spread your attention to her whole body, and enjoy the reciprocal sense of touch, mutual massage, kissing and fondling.

Make sex a complete experience. You may be surprised to learn that you can have a hard erection but not be especially aroused. The question is: are you ready mentally for intercourse? This means: high arousal, low anxiety, greater self-control. And a good way to get highly aroused is to spread out foreplay so that sex lasts much longer. You may even find that there is room for two ejaculations in one long session of sex - and you may also find that you can last much longer during your second bout of sex than your first. This isn't just the preserve of young men with high testosterone - given enough arousal, most men can find a way to get hard a second time and then have the luxury of a longer, slower, more gentle approach to orgasm. Spending time getting your partner aroused is well worth while, because it takes attention off you, and nothing is more arousing for a man than seeing an aroused woman enjoying sex!

Learn how to be a great lover. There is no shortage of websites where you can learn about good sexual techniques. If you don't yet know anything about a woman's G spot, take the time and trouble to find out - and read some books which offer advice on how to prolong sex such as Extended Sexual Orgasm by Alan and Donna Brauer and A Beginner's Guide to Tantric Sexuality by Richard Craze.

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How to last longer during sex - how to last longer in bed

How to last longer during sex - making sexual intercourse last longer

How to last longer in bed - the art of lasting longer in bed