How To Last Longer In Bed
If you want to last longer in bed, you need to know more about premature ejaculation. There are three criteria listed in the medical definition of premature ejaculation. In lay language:1 The persistent or repeated onset of orgasm and ejaculation without much sexual stimulation, before, at the moment of, or shortly after penetration and before the man and/or his partner want it to happen 2 Marked distress or relationship difficulty because of it 3 It's not due to drink or drugs Having said that, premature ejaculation - not being able to last a long time in bed - is only to be expected in a sexually naive young man who is having sex for the first time, or in one who is sexually inexperienced, or in a man who has not had sexual intercourse for some time, so that he is considerably more excited than normal. These are factors that should be taken into account when considering whether a man can indeed be said to have premature ejaculation or not. One researcher (Bernard Althof) has expanded the definition of premature ejaculation to include four aspects of sexual function: 1 A man's ability (or lack thereof) to control the time before he ejaculates in order to satisfy his partner or himself. He can't last long enough in bed. 2 That a man should have voluntary control over his ejaculation so he can last longer in bed. 3 That the man or his partner are significantly distressed by his failure to last long enough during sex. 4 That the symptoms of rapid ejaculation are not the consequence of some other sexual disorder of any mental, physical or behavioral problem. As we've said elsewhere on this website, premature ejaculation is very common. While estimates of how common it is vary widely, most studies agree on a figure of between twenty and forty percent of men. It is, in fact, so common as to be considered normal. Most women would agree that most men need to last longer in bed. Since men don't usually go out of their way to seek help for premature ejaculation (PE), it may be even higher than we think. By contrast, delayed ejaculation - also known as retarded ejaculation or male orgasmic disorder, and sometimes as ejaculatory incompetence - occurs in between one and four percent of men. What is premature ejaculation?Several large scale studies have suggested that the most common male sexual dysfunction is premature ejaculation. One problem, as we have already seen is that there is no consistent definition of premature ejaculation. And there is also some doubt that rapid ejaculation is abnormal - in other words, it may be a normal physiological process in the human male. Previous attempts to define premature ejaculation have been based on the number of pelvic thrust before ejaculation, or the time before ejaculation, or the level of satisfaction with sex of both the man and his partner. Startlingly, it has been shown that up to a quarter of men have routine premature ejaculation and up to a third of happily married couples have periods of premature ejaculation from time to time in the relationship. What may be even more astonishing to some is that up to 25% of young men's first attempts at sex result in ejaculation outside the vagina! The fourth version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association (DSM-IV) defines PE as a condition in which a man regularly experiences ejaculation with only slight stimulation before he wishes to ejaculate and before, upon or very shortly after vaginal penetration. But this is meaningless if a man is with a new sexual partner or is sexually inexperienced: rapid ejaculation is the norm in such circumstances. It's also meaningless if a man is on medication which is prompting his rapid ejaculation. So when does it become a problem? Only if it is causing a man or his partner such emotional stress or interpersonal difficulty that their lives are adversely affected. And although not being able to last long enough in bed may seem trivial, it can be a major problem for some couples. The DSM-IV diagnosis lists three other factors: 1) that PE is either a life-long condition or it can be acquired after the onset of sexual maturity and even when considerable sexual experience has been accumulated, 2) that it is either general, with all partners, or specific to one partner, or for that matter, a set of circumstances, or 3) that it can be psychologically based and the cause multi-factorial. Obviously therefore, if we are to call a rapid ejaculation of a man with little or no sexual experience a form of premature ejaculation, this will be the most prevalent form of the condition. Young men in this category have a strong sex drive and often ejaculate before they desire to do so. Their premature ejaculation (PE) is in part provoked by the emotional tension and arousal they may experience before intercourse, which is often high. Oddly, a very common contributing factor to premature ejaculation (PE) is erectile dysfunction: there may be long periods of time between sex (due to the man not having an erection very often) so that the novelty and stimulation of the situation cause an over-rapid ejaculation; the man will often lose his erection just as he ejaculates. There are many other definitions of premature ejaculation (PE): one that we have mentioned elsewhere on this site is when ejaculation takes place in less than two minutes after penetration more than half the time when a couple make love. Most men in this situation woudl wish to last longer in bed. Another very vague definition is that sex lasts for less than one hundred thrusts after penetration. And yet another centers on a man's lack of voluntary control over his ejaculatory reflex. Amusingly, some clinicians have suggested that ejaculation is premature if it occurs before a man's partner experiences a vaginal orgasm. As one critic responded, every man in the world would be considered a premature ejaculator if this was the case. |
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